On-Mind In Words

I couldnt sleep well last night. Slept on the couch with eyes wide open and didnt even know when I fell asleep. The next thing I know is my roomie making omlet at 6 am in the morning. The moon was still bright in the sky and I couldnt believe that I had to get out of my bed .. I mean couch, to start my first day of work in the toughest and the craziest city- NYC.

Somehow I wasnt feeling the rush of starting my new job. I dont know why I had a weird feeling. I didnt even bother cross checking the train I was suppose to take. Anyway.. I left with my room mate to catch the bus to the city. I felt so nostalgic. I did the same last summer but I felt happy doing that. I was amazed at how opposite I was feeling today than what I did a year ago. I didnt sleep at all in the bus even though I had hardly managed to get 4 hours of sleep the previous night. Reached the city. Took the subway thinking I was right about the train number. Somehow I felt that something was not right .. and I was right about it After 7 stops or so I realized that I wasnt on the right train. Thank God for my habit of checking the map that I could figure out the right train.

I was lucky that I made it on time. I went through the same procedure as I did last summer so wasnt really expecting anything new. But I was wrong….During registration, we were suppose to enter our birth dates. I saw all 86 and 87s. I suddenly felt old. I didnt know if I belonged there anymore. I managed to get to my table and was relieved to see a familiar face. With 7 out of 8 people on the table talking about exams and certifications, I didnt know whether to run away or strangle myself. I kept getting up to get water, use the restroom.. finding every excuse to stay away from the table. I was so damn low that I started feeling that I was the dumbest graduate among the undergrads.

As the day progressed, I talked to a few people I knew from last year and they told me that it wasnt that big of a deal and that I could manage it. Their confidence in me finally let me breathe some air..Then again, after lunch we were bombarded with online courses and pre-assessment courses which would test our knowledge. Suddenly I felt I knew nothing. Its not that I should know everything but somehow it scared the hell out of me. To top it, I could not access the link to take the test which everyone already finished. Fun fun… I wanted to run away from there.

Finally, the day was over. I couldnt access the link. I felt stupid and broken.. Came back home to realize that the boxes I shipped last week hadnt reached home yet. That meant, no kitchen stuff and no proper dinner. So my dinner for the night was a banana and some milk. However, my roomie was kind enough to offer me some food she made. After a very weird day I am enjoying the loud noise of the TV which my other roomie is seeing to suppress the voice of my other roomie who is talking to my yet another roomie Well.. at the end of the day I am back to the couch since my bed hasnt been changed yet… It is again me and the moon….

WELCOME TO THE BIG BAD WORLD !!!!

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